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19th December 2006

6:52pm: Ever wanna just be left alone.....
click click click as my fingers speed across the keyboard as my ample mouth stays closed.

There are too many thoughts bouncing off my brain but I have nothing to physically to say

tears begin to well in the corner of my eyes as I hold onto so much in my soul

Letting go is the beginning
Letting myself in is the beginning

Fear is a funny thing you know.....
shows you dark places where no imagnination has imagined
where no novelist has ever been
no artist has ever seen

a concoction of our hardest and deepest emotions

I have nothing to say
but I am filled with adjectives, nouns and verbs that my mouth can't wait to spill out

a random assortment of feelings

the phone keeps ringing
i dont answer it

i think about life to come
i ignore it

Fear is a funny thing you know....
it can grab a hold of you and never let you go
Current Mood: discontent

12th November 2006

2:24pm: Jose never lets me down
Ah alcohol- by definition: Intoxicating liquor containing alcohol.

Yes so I haven't drank like that in I'd say at least a few months. And can I tell you I woke up paying for it!!

Ugh A hangover (veisalgia) is the sum of unpleasant physical effects following heavy consumption of alcohol. The most common reported characteristics of a hangover are feelings of extreme thirst, lethargy, nausea, sensitivity to sunlight and noise, and headache. Hypoglycemia, dehydration, and vitamin B12 deficiency are all theorized causes of hangover symptoms. Hangover symptoms may be felt for a variable period of time after alcohol consumption, and may persist for a short period of time (12 to 36 hours[1]), or even longer (48 to 72 hours after the last alcoholic drink is consumed[2]).

hangovers suck!!!

I hope I didn't do anything too stupid

cause i can't remember it
Current Mood: exhausted

16th October 2006

8:15am: ugh
So guess who called last night.....

Guess who hung up on him when I heard his voice???

Current Mood: proud and sleepy

9th October 2006

8:29am: ugh

What the F*CK was I thinking!!!!!

At work- don't want to be

Getting my computer fixed and goin to the gym later

call my cell later

love you
Current Mood: drained

7th October 2006

12:52pm: Leave the loser men for the loser women
A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster (busta, busta...)
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
So (no)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time and (no)

I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me
I don't want no scrub
A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

There's a scrub checkin' me
But his game is kinda weak
And I know that he cannot approach me
Cuz I'm lookin' like class and he's lookin' like trash
Can't get wit' no deadbeat ass
So (no) (yea, yea)

I don't want your number (no)
I don't want to give you mine and (no)
I don't want to meet you nowhere (no)
I don't want none of your time (no)


If you don't have a car and you're walking
Oh yes son I'm talking to you
If you live at home wit' your momma
Oh yes son I'm talking to you (baby)
If you have a shorty that you don't show love
Oh yes son I'm talking to you (yea yea yea yea...)
Wanna get with me with no money
Oh no I don't want no (oh)

No scrub (no scrub, no love)
No scrub (no no) (no scrub, no love)
No scrub (no no no no no)
No scrub (no no)



[Left Eye:]
See, if you can't spatially expand my horizon
Then that leaves you in a class with scrubs never risin'
I don't find it surprisin'
If you don't have the g's
To please me and bounce from here to the coast of overseas
So, let me give you somethin' to think about
Inundate your mind with intentions to turn you out
Can't forget the focus on the picture in front of me
You as clear as DVD on digital TV screen
Satisfy my appetite with something spectacular
Check your vernacular
And then I get back to ya
With diamond like precision
Insatiable is what I envision
Can't detect acquisition
From your friend's expedition
Mr. Big Willy if you really wanna know
Ask Chilli, could I be a silly ho
Not really, T-Boz and all my senoritas
Is steppin' on your Filas
But you don't hear me though
Current Mood: energetic
10:02am: ugh
Ugh i woke up this morning feeling super guilty

His brother was in my dream

Maybe i made a mistake

Current Mood: depressed

6th October 2006

10:04pm: haha
I cut your phone off

Current Mood: relieved
9:47pm: I dedicate this to you... ASSHOLE
CALLOWAY » I Wanna Be Rich Lyrics

Cash cold that's what I need
These bill collectors they ring my phone
They bother me when I'm not at home
Ain't go no time to be fooling round
Feetl touch the floors and I get on down, you see

I want money lots and lots of money
I want the pie in the sky
I want money lots and lots of money
So don't be asking me why

I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich
I wanna be rich oh
I wanna be rich

I want my cake wanna eat it too
I want the stars and the silver moon
I spend my money on lottery
My favourite number is 1 2 3, you see


Every way rich
Love peace and happiness
I want all the things that lovers do
A pocketfull of dreams come true
Everything you can not find
Want you by my side?

That'll keep you satisfied and rich
Here is what your gonna do
Say oh I say uh uh
Got to be baby
I just wanna be rich
I just wanna be, just wanna be
Cause baby


Be rich I wanna be rich
I know what I mean baby
Everyday and everyway
Play baby there is lots for everyone
Current Mood: amused
9:16pm: ugh
5:42pm: haha
"talking like you know me.......you don't know me, you don't know my baby's father"
Current Mood: angry
4:41pm: Ummmm hi. he is probably one of the most disrespectful people i ahve ever met... "you don't know what pain is".. fuck you man you dont know me! bitch ill show you realllll pain.
Current Mood: annoyed
3:40pm: =(
Ped isn't coming anymore

Gives me one less distraction......I am not happy

Tempted to call

I know I shouldn't
Current Mood: disappointed
1:02pm: weird
So i read his myspace page........"I show people respect until they disrespect me.....I'm looking to talk to someone special.......I am a loyal person who doesn't lie....."

I'm completely amused

now im really tired i may nap it up a bit

and grace's bf dumped her im gonna have to start some shit!!
Current Mood: sleepy
12:42pm: I'm a moron.....
So i said something funny this morning and I forgot what it was something involving my aunt.........

Im having a total mental meltdown....

I kinda like how that sounds

see now this is gonna aggrivate me till i remember

Pedri will be here soon!!!!


um yea post me back biatch
Current Mood: rejuvenated
9:29am: HeHe Joanna's crazy
Ok so some girl I know had up an away message saying she was masterbating and it struck us funny so of course, Joanna, has to say this:

Karaoke Queen Jo: I'm masterbatin at work right now
Karaoke Queen Jo: Just wanted to tell you
Karaoke Queen Jo: Now give me attention, bitch!
MsundrstdAngel03: omg
MsundrstdAngel03: i think i just peed a little

lol I love her.
Current Mood: tired

5th October 2006

11:27pm: Cassie: "We havn't posted in a while, I think we should post RIGHT NOW."
Katie: "I would if my computer didn't work."

BOOOOOOO On stupid boys.

The babys moving :)
Current Mood: giggly

21st December 2005

11:27am: hahahah sucks to be you
She’ll only come out at night
The lean and hungry type
Nothing is new, I’ve seen her here before
Watching and waiting
She’s sitting with you but her eyes are on the door
So many have paid to see
What you think you’re getting for free
The woman is wild, a she-cat tamed by the purr of a jaguar
Money’s the matter
If you’re in it for love you ain’t gonna get too far

Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she’ll chew you up
Oh here she comes
She’s a maneater
Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she’ll chew you up
Oh here she comes
She’s a maneater

I wouldn’t if I were you
I know what she can do
She’s deadly man, and she could really rip your world apart
Mind over matter
The beauty is there but a beast is in the heart

Oh here she comes
Watch out boy she’ll chew you up
Oh here she comes
She’s a maneater
Current Mood: amused

31st October 2005

10:22am: hahaha
I found this quite amusing and creepy in the same moment, but it does explain a lot:

"Both Signs pride themselves on their independence, but conflicts can arise if Leo seems too demanding or Aquarius seems too aloof. Both partners should respect differences of perspective in the other. Leo can be too dramatic for Aquarius' taste, but Aquarius in turn could be too unsteady for their Leo counterpart. If they communicate to one another the value of the friendship, everything will be okay."

"This partnership is vibrant and vigorous, and while occasional competitions may arise between them, there is never a dull moment for this pair! They can be great friends and business associates"

Creppy huh

30th October 2005

9:25pm: hmmmmmmm
I read something today that made me laugh-------Bitches so stupid!!!!

This weekend- i don't remember any of it

it's great

Halloween is tomorrow-------i wonder if we are gonna bar hop or movie it orm haunted house it!

26th October 2005

10:09am: Im now back home! BOOOO

yesterday i worked for 13 hours- it felt like i working by myself

i HATE my job


Buffalo seems almost surreal
I am excited i finally went to the pink
I am not excited about DOOM
I was excited seeing Heather in the airport -way too long
I enjoyed having the cops come after me saying, "How about you make some fucking pizzas"
I enjoyed playing with the puppies
I enjoyed seeing my old friends- it was comforting
I wonder how the end of saturday night got that strange and flirtarous
I can not believe i could not get drunk on Sat
I can not believe that they charged ur card
and I can not believe things got blown WAY out of context- talk about self-complexity-n DAMM

Current Mood: morose

19th October 2005

11:59pm: bitches best be gettin jealous
I am going ton Buffalo Friday and you sucka ain't!!!

I plan on doign the following:

1- maul heather at the airport
2- play and spoil puppy- i get paid to do that
3- eat at the dinner on elmwood- its been so long i forgot the name
4- smoke a shit load of weed as well as indulge in other drugs
5- get in ghetto garb and drink 40's or in my case 24oz of Corona
6- Go the bar and get drunk
7- go to heathers house and get drunk
8- on the way to the bar from heathers house get drunk
9- take many pictures
10- cross under the isane asylum
11-Run around campus screaming and booing
12- pour laundry detergent in the fountain
13- drink the hooch we do NOT have it on long island
15- Hex everyone that did not come
16- try not curse- haha i didnt say i was
17- take a shit load of picutres and have a fucking blast

Bitches best be jealous

10th October 2005

9:47am: ugh things keep getting worse
i have a test at 2:20.........i will probably fail

my grandmother died last week........now there is no one left

i worked 20 hours of overtime........and i dont even get a thank you

i did poorly on my makeup exam.........i'm not surprised

i am supposed to be cramming.......my mind can't do it anymore

i hate that i am lonely.........i fear i will be forever

i am out of debt.......i still feel like i am not

don't expect me to gloat over you anymore.........i'm sick of wasting my time

i feel good for 10 mins..............then you have to go

im still sick.........i wonder if i will ever get better

my wrist is starting to tingle again..........it might be time for surgery

every night i battle with myself...............not to put anything in my nose

i've become addicted.....................to misery

"All my life is on me now, hail the pages turning
And the fuure on the bound, hell dont know my fury
You're all I need, you're all I need, you're all I need
You're all I need, You're all I need, you're all I need
Youre all I need - and maybe some faith would
Do me good
I dont know what I'm doing, dont know should I
Change my mind, I cant decide, there's too many
Variations to consider
No thing I do dont do no thing but bring me
More to do, It's true, I do imbue my blue unto myself,
I make it bitter"
Current Mood: morose

21st September 2005

10:35am: going nowhere really fucking fast......
I only have this last semester left in school......then where do i go? I'm sure working as a tech in an animal hospital will not be what i just spent 5 years in school for, to make shitty money.

I am currently 4 grand in debt.......and i can't stop spending.......

I am not happy with myself.......mentally, physically and emotionally.

I am trying to let go of the past....it isn't easy

I hate living at home....but what other choices do i have?

I hate not having some to call to just say hello.........there is always something the other person wants from me

I hate the fact that some days i hate my job and some days i love it

I hate the fact that my grandmother is dying.........and i hate going to see her

I hate the fact that i find solace in sleep.......or drugs

I try to change.........i'm too fucking lazy

I try to be understanding but sometimes i just can't

I try to figure out why he lies..........still really fucking bothers me

I try to be quiet......it just brings on more attention

I try to be happy.......hahaha yea okay

I wonder what will happen to me in 10 years.......

I wonder what will happen to you in 10 years....

I hope things will change......real soon

I hope i start going to class more often

I hope to leave this state real soon.......yea that won't happen

I hope to hear from you......it's been 2 years, i don't expect a phone call

I hope i start to be happy......it's worth a shot

I wish things were different
and wishes never come true
Current Mood: discontent

17th May 2005

3:57am: Alice from wonderland is the only one who understands.................
Always want what i can't have -i think i live to torture myself

"The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide"
Current Mood: exhausted

26th April 2005

1:51pm: hmmm
Ever feel like you dont belong anywhere???

Almost heaven, west virginia
Blue ridge mountains, shenandoah river
Life is old there, older than the trees
Younger than the mountains, blowing like a breeze

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

All my mem’ries, gather ’round her
Miner’s lady, stranger to blue water
Dark and dusty, painted on the sky
Misty taste of moonshine, teardrop in my eye

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads

I hear her voice, in the mornin’ hours she calls to me
The radio reminds me of my home far a-way
And drivin’ down the road I get a feeling’
That I should have been home yesterday, yesterday

Country roads, take me home
To the place, I be-long
West virginia, mountain momma
Take me home, country roads
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